Gifts

BLACK MERDE SILK SCARF

$ 245.00

Long vintage lace printed silk scarf in black

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

There’s simply no substitute for swearing, and for that matter, swearing in French. It just sounds better. It is better. Everything in your life is better. Be your own icon in this light-weight print of profanity-splattered vintage lace, spun from silk-habotai for a luxuriously soft feel - your endless source of relief and companionship. Release your frustrations and transcend the ‘goody’ in you. Discover the unexpected thrill of an unmasked existence. Some hard-won wisdom? Expression now, ends unsightly f*ck-ups later. Your best self starts here. Its indispensable. You, are indispensable.

#DIRTYBUTPRETTY

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F*CK OFF MY SLEEP CAT EYE MASK

$ 80.00

Black satin sleep eye mask

Sometimes the most soul cleansing, spiritual thing you can do is to tell someone to f*ck off, and your end-of-day is no joke. We take your beauty sleep very seriously. You should too. You have a lot of sh*t to conquer and being tired just won’t do. Guard your z’s with the fierce prowess of a cat in this playful mask. We love it for dozing on long-haul flights, daytime cat-naps or extensive dream lands. Don’t mess with this pussy, Donald.

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F-BOMB KANDSK SILK SCARF

$ 395.00

Contemporary printed square silk scarf

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

This contemporary, lustrous silk print is a lavish feast of hidden yet unrestrained profanity, meticulously handcrafted to wake up the bad*ss in you. Dirty pink “F’s” pepper the classically elegant polk-a-dots with slashings of splattered paint - a marriage of beauty and beast in their most powerful forms. Drape, wrap, accent…your desire is its pleasure. Turn fear into confidence. Be seen. Be noticed. Create more time in your schedule for the things that matter.

#DIRTYBUTPRETTY

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FLAT OUT OF GOOD IDEAS, BIRDIE CARDS

$ 42.00

Naughty but nice 'greeting cards' for rude people

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

Rest easy with these pocket-sized superstars that you can take wherever you go. Designed for the b*tch in you and honoring the rich tradition of the ‘birdie’, these babies always come through in the crunch and allow you to maintain the portrait of a lady. 52 birdie cards – rationed as one per week for the year. Obviously, if you suffer from “I’m permanently surrounded by a*sholesness,” or you, yourself have straight up a*sholitis, then you’ll need to increase your stack. For those “I have no words and my mouth is just gaping open in such a high shrill gasp that I only hear silence” moments… we have two especially considerate cards with boxes you can select. We will call it the ‘f*ck bouquet’. Life made easy. Because we get it, and we love you. You’ll wonder how you ever managed without it. Save the lipstick, and be a lady about it.

#SAVETHELIPSTICK

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HOT STUFF VITAL(ITY) MUG

$ 36.00

Black ceramic printed coffee mug

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

Feel brand-new with every sip of untamed possibility – a rainbow of “no-no’s” designed for a lifetime of daily use. The Vital(ity) Mug makes other mugs look like toys. Wake up like a boss and exercise your mouth with 16 ounces of satisfying truth - the real secret to long lasting health. We know…shocking. Legendary. When you take charge of your morning, you take charge of your life. Take one for each person you know. Heck, hand them out on the street. You can breathe. It’s the real you. And it’s a beautiful thing. They don’t call us BFF for nothing. The last mug you’ll ever need to buy. Wait no more.

#UNTAMEDRISE

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LITTLE ANGELS - NEVER SWEETER, LITTLE SHEETER - UNISEX YOUTH T-SHIRT

$ 59.00

Street trendy white unisex youth tee with double-sided print

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

No more chugging wine in the corner of aisle 3 as your child has an epic meltdown. Now you can proudly do it in the middle of the checkout lane. This peerless, impeccably correct t-shirt, is the first ever virtual parenting assistant, and our newest BFF. Our winning team, offers you a streamlined approach to those red-faced, sponsor-inducing outings. Simply point to ‘little sheeter’ with a knowing glance and mingle with unknown comrades amidst the warzone of that called parenting. But since your kids are, of course, always angels and you, of course, never refer to them in such a manner, you can smile as you present their ‘never sweeter’ emblazoned chest for those family photos. A miracle? We think so. Feel in charge now, like a real adult. It’s more satisfying than you can believe. Spend less money on wine, and more on you.

#LITTLESHEETER

*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.

Rinad and Mustafa both wear our Youth Size Medium

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LITTLE ANGELS - NEVER SWEETER, LITTLE SHEETER- BABY ONESIE

$ 39.00

Trendy baby boy and baby girl white bodysuit onesie with double-sided print

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

This 100% baby rib cotton onesie says it all. But if an explanation really is necessary -- they’re fresh out of the oven, they don’t talk back and they love you unconditionally. AND… they’re always awake, which means no sleep for you, and those blowouts…those epic blowouts. The neckband is designed for easy on-and-off. You can even pull it down from head to bum to avoid poo-face or having to cut the thing off entirely. We use a printing method that infuses the ink into the material so there is no scratchiness or extra stimulation for your little one. We got you covered. Wet wipe anyone?

#LITTLESHEETER

*** Disclaimer - not intended for sleep wear. subtle variations - no garment is exactly alike.

Carter is 4 months old and wears our size 3-6 months. 

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LITTLE ANGELS- NEVER SWEETER, LITTLER SHEETER - UNISEX TODDLER T-SHIRT

$ 56.00

Cute hipster kids white unisex toddler tee with double-sided print

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

No more chugging wine in the corner of aisle 3 as your child has an epic meltdown. Now you can proudly do it in the middle of the checkout lane. This peerless, impeccably correct t-shirt, is the first ever virtual parenting assistant, and our newest BFF. Our winning team, offers you a streamlined approach to those red-faced, sponsor-inducing outings. Simply point to ‘little sheeter’ with a knowing glance and mingle with unknown comrades amidst the warzone of that called parenting. But since your kids are, of course, always angels and you, of course, never refer to them in such a manner, you can smile as you present their ‘never sweeter’ emblazoned chest for those family photos. A miracle? We think so. Feel in charge now, like a real adult. It’s more satisfying than you can believe. Spend less money on wine, and more on you.

#LITTLESHEETER

*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.

Elijah is 3 ½ years old, 39 lbs and wears our 2T for a snug style.

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SILVER MERDE SILK SCARF

$ 245.00

Long vintage lace printed silk scarf in silver

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

There’s simply no substitute for swearing, and for that matter, swearing in French. It just sounds better. It is better. Everything in your life is better. Be your own icon in this light-weight print of profanity-splattered vintage lace, spun from silk-chiffon for a luxuriously soft feel -- your endless source of relief and companionship. Release your frustrations and transcend the ‘goody’ in you. Discover the unexpected thrill of an unmasked existence. Some hard-won wisdom? Expression now, ends unsightly f*ck-ups later. Your best self starts here. Its indispensable. You, are indispensable.

#DIRTYBUTPRETTY

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SPLAT THERAPY MALE VINTAGE T-SHIRT

$ 155.00

Male medium-weight ivory vintage burnout tee with alternative swear words

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

Visually crafted to keep those love handles in check, because who wants to say ‘no’ to beer and pizza? This vintage glove-soft shirt, gives you a clear advantage in aesthetics and arguments . It’s no secret that you think we’re always naggin’. Keep your feet up and mouth full and just point to the expression you wish to communicate as we pull up next to you. Because, you know, the foundation of any relationship is solid communication. ;)

#SPLATTHERAPY

*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.

Stefan is 5'10", 185 lbs and wears our male size Medium.

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